As Brittney started to freak out at the sheer number of limos in her driveway I was suddenly distracted by three statuesque blonde women walking up to the front door in black leather bodysuits and six inch stiletto heels. The one in the lead stopped and smiled at me as she held out her hand and said, “You must be Amy.”
“Uh, hi!” I said politely as I shook her hand, “Do I know you?”
She laughed lightly as she said, “Well you invited us sweetie,” She paused and winked as she leaned forward to say in a husky whisper, “My name is Tony. This is Jamal, and that’s Walter.”
“Oh! You guys are bod…” I started to say until she interrupted me, “Yeah cutie, we’re incognito.”
“Right, sorry,” I said as I blushed.
“Oh she’s delectable. Can I have her?” The blonde on her right said as she smiled at me in the same way a lion smiles at the site of a wounded antelope.
I let out a bit of a nervous chuckle as Tony looked back at her and said, “Jamal! Whose birthday is it?”
The woman pouted and said, “Kevin’s.”
“Right, and whose girlfriend is this?”
“And they were nice enough to invite us to this little shindig. So who is going to mind their manners?” Tony said as she stamped her foot.
“Good. Remember that. Who is the one who got your cousin out on parole early and set him up with a job so he could support his family?”
“Then I think you can give him one night of your best behavior.” Tony said as she put a finger on Jamal’s nose, “Understood?”
“Okay. Then let’s go party!” Tony said as she spun and walked by me with a strut that even I couldn’t ignore.
Jamal still eyed me up with a sly grin as she walked by me and I overheard Walter say to her, “I hope this place doesn’t start on fire like the last get together Kevin had.”
I looked at Brittney who had overheard the exchange and she blinked several times rapidly and then spun and went into the house as she screamed out, “CHESS CLUB! Where is Kevin?”
Suddenly Rachel and Lauren grabbed my hands and pulled me into the house as they screamed, “Come dance with us!”
When I got into the main room that Brittney had the DJ set up in I noticed people working on the side to set something up. I couldn’t tell what it was and shrugged it off as I started to dance. Hannah and Tiffany soon joined us and we swung our hips and moved to the music. I laughed and ran my hands through my hair and looked around and noticed one of the blonde bodysuit triplets across the dance floor eyeing Hannah with a predatory gaze and sighed. When the song ended I heard Brittney yell out from the other side of the room, “Who the fuck ordered a stage to be set up? How the fuck did you people even get in here?”
“Uh oh. I better go check on her,” I said as I waved to the girls, “I’ll be back in a bit.”
I went over and found Brittney hyperventilating by the side of the stage and grabbed her by the shoulders, “It’s fine Britt. We’ll get through this.”
“Where the fuck is Kevin? Did you know the Artist Formerly Known as Queen is here and he’s demanding some kind of drink I’ve never even heard of! Oh and there is like four actors here. Like from Hollywood Amy! Hollywood. The ones that starred in that superhero flick last summer. They are here and asked where the bar is. I didn’t set up a bar!” She said as she pulled out her phone and started dialing a number. She started talking to the catering company on the other end of the line and telling them what she wanted but from the way she was waving her hand and shaking her head she was obviously not getting it.
Then Kevin walked around the corner in a white suit with a large red flower on his lapel and smiled as he saw us. He casually walked over and said, “Hey ladies! What’s up?”
He pulled the flower from his lapel and held it out for me. I smiled as I took it and smelled it. Brittney scowled at him as she covered the microphone on the phone and said, “Why didn’t you tell me half of these people would demand gluten free water or some sort of alcohol I’ve never even heard of!”
“Is that the catering company? Here, let me talk to them,” Kevin said as he held his hand out and Brittney rolled her eyes as she handed over her cell phone.
He put it to the side of his face and then said, “Hi, who is this? Hello Dexter. This is Kevin. Oh, hey man. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, can you put Vicky on for me? Thanks man,” Kevin paused as he smiled at us.
“When did he change into a suit?” I asked Brittney as I played with the flower he gave me.
“Where did he even get a fitted suit?” Brittney replied as she crossed her arms and looked at him.
“Oh Janice!” Kevin said as she walked by, “Could you be a lamb and pop down to the wine cellar and get some bottles from oh… eighty two, eighty five, and… um… eighty nine? Oh, and make sure you write down what you took and get me the list so I can replace it. Bring it to Bonnie and tell her it’s for Mr. Devarough and his friends. She’ll know what to do, okay?”
“Okay Mr. Kevin,” Janice said happily as she disappeared through the steadily increasing mass of people partying and then Kevin took his hand off the speaker, “Vicky! It’s Kevin, how are you? Great! How’s Bob?” Kevin paused as Brittney tapped her foot impatiently, “Wonderful! And what about the kids? Is Penelope still enjoying tumbling class? Yeah, I’m glad it worked out! I know the littles can be rough to put to bed if they don’t burn enough energy. Yeah. Anyway, the reason I’m calling is because I need some stuff brought over to the Beldamore party. Yeah, it looks like it’s going to be about as big as I thought, so just bring it all over now, along with the extras I put in for,” He paused and then sighed, “Vicky, C’mon. An hour and a half? We talked about setting this up for a quick response. I thought I was your buddy. I don’t want to be too pushy but I need this stuff like right now.” He paused again and nodded, “Okay, I can hold off for half an hour, but that’s it.” He paused again, “Okay, thanks Vicky, you’re a doll!” He paused once more and then added, “Oh I don’t know about that, but I’ll take the compliment! Bye now!”
He ended the phone call and looked at Brittney, “There. All taken care of Beautiful.”
“Can I have my phone back now?” Brittney asked as she cocked a leg.
“You could, but what about some magic instead?” he asked and suddenly everyone around us was watching.
I glanced nervously around uncertain if Kevin really understood that Brittney would actually pop his shoulders out of socket if anything happened to her phone and then looked back at Kevin. Brittney was not impressed and held her hand out for her phone, “I don’t want to see a stupid magic trick, I want my phone back.”
“You’re stressing too much. You need to relax. Everything will be fine,” Kevin said as he crouched slightly, cupped the phone in both hands and then flung it up into the air of the tall room.
“WHAT THE FUCK CHESS CLUB!” Brittney said as she put her hands up and looked to catch it. My head cocked back as I tried to keep an eye on the phone but suddenly I realized that it wasn’t a phone, it was a white bird. The bird flipped out its wings and flew off through the house and suddenly cheers erupted around us as everyone held up their hands and started to clap. I looked down at Brittney and started to laugh until I saw the scowl on her face and then looked back to Kevin.
Only Kevin wasn’t there. He had disappeared.
“Where the fuck did he go?” Brittney growled and added, “And my phone’s gone too!” She looked at me and then held out her hand, “Give me your phone!”
I nodded and reached into my pocket and pulled, but instead of my phone a small red handkerchief came out.
“Very funny,” Brittney commented but I looked up at her, “Hey! My phone’s gone too! It was in this pocket! Wait, maybe it’s still in there, the handkerchief is tied to something.”
I kept pulling and a yellow handkerchief came out, followed by a green, then a blue, then a purple, and then an orange, and after that the panties I had put on that morning came out of my pocket. I felt my face flush red as I clutched the pile of fabrics to my chest and everyone around started clapping and laughing once more. I looked at Brittney with wide eyes and then darted past her to find the nearest bathroom.
I pushed my way through the crowd and fought my way up the stairs and then cut the line as people yelled and slammed the bathroom door shut. I locked it and leaned back against it and let out a sigh I as started to untie my panties from the orange handkerchief. I looked up and suddenly saw a woman giving me an odd look.
“Oh. Sorry. My boyfriend magic’d my panties off and I need to get them back on,” I said with a shrug and then looked more closely at her, “Don’t I know you?”
She sniffled and then let out a small whimper as she shrugged at me. I handed her the orange handkerchief as she started to cry and she took it from me and blew her nose, “My boyfriend just broke up with me!”
“Oh… I’m sorry,” I said as I went and gave her a hug and then suddenly pulled back and muttered out, “Wait! You’re Yvonne Bahjorgson! You were on the cover of Magster’s hot one hundred last month!”
She gave me a weak smile and nodded as I continued, “You were on the cover of the swimsuit issue of Sports Illuminated too! I got the bikini you were wearing in that issue because it was so sexy!”
She nodded again and I asked “What are you doing here?”
She started to sniffle again and then began sobbing, “I came here to find my boyfriend! It’s his party! But he broke up with me instead!” the woman began sobbing uncontrollably.
“Wait… This is my boyfriend’s birthday party…” I said slowly as my eyebrows furrowed.
The woman stopped crying and looked at me, “You’re Kevin’s new girlfriend?”
“You’re his old girlfriend?” I asked in shock.
She started to sob again and blew her nose on the orange handkerchief and I held up the purple one for her to use as well. She took it and then looked at me, “What do you have that I don’t? Why did he break up with me? I don’t understand!”
I stood there with my mouth open and shrugged, “Uh…”
She suddenly scowled at me and reached into her purse and held out my phone, “Why don’t you ask him then! I need to know!”
“Where the… How the…” I stared at my phone in shock and then slowly took it from her like I was afraid of it disappearing again.
I tapped the screen and looked at it in wonder as I confirmed by the background it was actually my phone. I opened the messages and shot one off to Kevin, Well played Magic Man. How did you do that?
Almost instantly it chirped back, I can’t reveal my secrets my love. Sorry.
“ASK HIM!” Yvonne said as she stamped her foot and glared at me.
I took a breath as I glared back at her and typed, Hey, I’m in a bathroom with Yvonne Bahjorgson. She’s wondering why you broke up with her.
Suddenly Yvonne was next to me and pulling the phone toward her face as I rolled my eyes and sighed. When the phone chirped she pushed my hand out of the way to scroll down and get to the message, I never broke up with Yvonne.
A smile broke on her face for a moment until the phone chirped again and she read the next message, We were never a couple. We hooked up for one night in the Bahamas but the next morning she was going on about getting married and turned into a stage 10 psycho clinger. I bailed at lunch because she was talking about meeting my parents and asking what we were going to name our kids. Super fucking creepy.
Yvonne instantly broke down into hysterical sobbing as she slid down the wall and put her hands over her face, “He just waltzes into my life, gives me the most magical night of sex ever, and then dumps me in the trash like I’m some sort of used tissue! Why? Why!!!”
I sat down next to her and wrapped my arms around her shoulders, “Chin up girlfriend! At least you know what went wrong now!”
“What’s so bad about trying to set up your future? I just wanted to make him happy!” she wailed as she blew her nose and I handed her yet another handkerchief.
“There are more fish in the sea. Buck up. Heck, there are plenty of guys here, let’s go find one!” I said as I stood up and held my hands out for her.
“WITHOUT KEVIN THERE IS NO REASON TO LIVE! I MIGHT AS WELL DIE HERE!” She screamed as she covered her face with her hands and began sobbing again.
“Yeah, I can’t imagine what went wrong now,” I muttered under my breath and suddenly my phone chirped again.
“Is it Kevin?” Yvonne looked up at me with a hopeful and slightly psychotic gleam in her eyes.
“No, it’s my friend Brittney,” I said as I looked at the text while Yvonne went back to crying, Where are you slut? Found my phone. DO NOT ASK WHERE. Have you seen Kevin?
I sighed and realized I did not want to stay with this little ray of sunshine for the rest of the night and so I looked at her and said, “She needs me, I have to go, you’re okay right?”
“I’m fine. I’ll just die here alone and unloved!” She said as she let out another sob.
I rolled my eyes as I opened the door and saw Fritz standing there. I grabbed his wrist and yanked him in the bathroom, “Hey Fritz, do you know Yvonne?”
He shot me a questioning look and then his eyes popped open as he looked down at the supermodel crying on the floor. I pushed him down next to Yvonne and said, “Hey did you ever meet Kevin’s best friend Fritz? If you wanted to know more about Kevin he’s probably the best person to ask.”
She stopped sniffling and blinked her eyes clear and smiled at him, “You want to talk with me for a while?”
“Um… Y…Y…Yes.” Fritz mumbled as he looked up at me and mouthed the words, “Thank you!”
Yvonne put her head on Fritz’s shoulders and as she started to babble I slipped out the door only to realize I had never gotten back into my panties. I sighed and stuffed them in my pocket and then frowned as I looked at the sea of people. Everywhere I looked it was standing room only. I let out a groan and made my way down the hallway looking for anyone I could recognize. My phone started ringing again suddenly and I saw it was Brad. I was going to hang up but for whatever reason I swiped to accept the call.
“What Brad?” I said with a bit of a tone.
“Hey, the idiot doorman won’t let me into the party. Can you tell him to let me in?” He asked and then after a moment added, “Please?”
“What doorman? We don’t have a doorman!” I asked, “Oh whatever. I can’t hear you through all the people! I’ll make my way there!” I said as I hung up and started pushing my way to the door through the massive crowd.
After about ten minutes I managed to get there and saw three impossibly large men in black suits with sunglasses standing at the door with a red rope hanging between a few stands. A large line of people were standing outside on Brittney’s lawn and at the front of the line were Brad and the rest of the football team.
“Amy! Amy, tell them you know us!” Brad pleaded and one of the men grabbed him by the collar and shoved him backwards away from the red rope and gave him a menacing stare.
“What the heck is going on here?” I asked loudly as I looked at them.
“They’re not on the list Miss Summers,” One of the large men said as he held out a clipboard for me to see. He towered over me and his arms were larger than the size of my waist and I squeaked a little and stepped back, “Oh. Okay.”
Suddenly Kevin strolled out the door and put his hand around my waist, “Hey cutie, whatcha up too?”
I looked and saw he was now wearing a black suit and he pulled a bright yellow flower from his lapel and tucked it in my hair gently as he smiled at me. I blinked several times and shook my head and then said, “Brad called me. He said he couldn’t get in.”
“He’s not on the list Kevin,” The huge black man with the clipboard said as he tapped it loudly.
“Benny! This is Bradly Fitzgerald! He’s the quarterback for the Trojans! He threw for two touchdowns in last week’s game! We go way back! You’re embarrassing me by not letting my friends in!” Kevin said as he unhooked the red rope and motioned the football players across.
“Sorry Kevin,” the large black man said as his shoulders slumped.
“Oh don’t worry about it Benny. I shouldn’t have been so hard on you. It’s not your fault. I’ll go and talk to the guy that wrote up the list. That’s where the problem is,” Kevin said as he fist bumped one of the football players as they walked by and into the house.
Brad gave me a confused look as I shrugged at him and he waved to Kevin as he went in the door while Kevin continued to talk to Benny.
“Hey, after this thing cools down are you going to come in and grab some ice cream with me? I made sure they have your favorite!” Kevin said in a cheerful voice.
“Pistachio? You made sure they had pistachio ice cream?” Benny said as he lowered his sunglasses and looked at Kevin.
“Hey, who takes care of you big guy?”
“Damn straight man!” Benny said as he fist bumped Kevin, “You should get back in there, it’s your party after all.”
“Thanks for watching the front gate Benny,” Kevin said as he waved at him and lead me back into the house by the small of my back.
“No prob Kevin,” Benny hollered as we walked back into the pounding music, noise and strobe lights of the party.
“There he is!” Someone yelled, “SPEECH!”
Kevin rolled his eyes and sighed as he made his way to the stage and hopped up on it and then looked down at the guy who had yelled out to him, “Thanks Not Queen Anymore!”
The short man in a salmon colored silk shirt and matching headband pushed his way over next to me and cheered out as he pumped his fist in the air, “Let’s see some magic!”
Suddenly Kevin had a microphone in his hand and he turned it on and tapped it lightly as the music died down, “Okay well, wow. What a birthday party. I was not expecting this, let’s be honest. I’d first like to thank the lovely ladies who put so much work into this to make it as amazing as it is! My beautiful and talented girlfriend Amy Summers everyone!” He pointed at me and suddenly there was a light on me. I held a hand up and blinked, as I looked around trying to find where it was coming from as Kevin continued, “You know I’ve only known her a short time, and I realize I’m young, but guys I really think she’s special. I don’t know a lot about love, but I can’t wait to figure it out with her.”
A cheer went out from the crowd and Kevin held his hands above his head and clapped and then brought the microphone back down, “And let’s not forget the host of tonight’s party! She’s as pretty as she is intelligent, Brittney Beldamore everyone!” Kevin pointed and another spot light appeared on Brittney as she struggled down the stairs through the sea of people with a scowl on her face as she called out, “Chess club I’m going to skin you alive!”
“She’s a firecracker, isn’t she, everybody?” Kevin said into the microphone as he clapped and people started to clap and laugh, “Let’s get her a path so she can make her way up here, okay? While she’s on her way up I’d like to say thanks to everyone who traveled here tonight just to celebrate with me. It means the world to me that you’re all taking time out of your busy lives to kick it with me for a few hours. I know that you guys probably had way better things going on tonight!”
There was a pile of whistles, clapping, cheering and call outs going through the crowd and Kevin continued, “I’d also like to thank my life mentor Norman! Normy where are you bud? Of course he’s nowhere to be found when I want to introduce him. I swear that guy will be late to his own funeral!” Kevin paused as some folks let out some chuckles and then continued on, “So I mean without further ado I think we should all get back to partying! I want everyone to remember there is food in the back room, bars are set up over there, over there, and over there and of course out by the pool, and restrooms are… um… I don’t even know where all the bathrooms are in this house, but I’m sure you guys will figure it out. Oh, and one more thing, DJ PitDog just rolled in from Brazil and said he wants to kick it with us for a bit! Can you believe that?”
Kevin pointed behind him on the stage as the curtain dropped and out walked half a dozen dancers and a bald man in sunglasses stood behind some serious DJ equipment with a smile on his face. The room erupted in cheers as everyone realized we were in for a great show. Suddenly the short man next to me started yelling. He looked back at his entourage and they began chanting too. Then suddenly the blonde bodysuit triplets were there chanting something as well. Then a few more people showed up chanting. As the kept going the random cheering died down and I finally heard what they were screaming.
“MAGIC! MAGIC! MAGIC! MAGIC!”
Kevin sighed and rolled his eyes, “The Artist Formerly Known as Queen everyone. I think we all know what he’s expecting. Okay Okay, I’ve got you guy. I’m going to need my lovely assistant though, where is she?”
He looked over just as Brittney was climbing onto the stage. She walked over to him and cocked a hip, “Chess club I do not remember changing outfits. Why am I in a new outfit?” She looked down at herself and gestured at the shiny top that accentuated her curves and the tight fitting black yoga pants.
“Hey Britt. I need your help for a minute okay?” He said into the microphone.
“Get bent! Your buddy from the IronSuit movie grabbed my ass! He’s lucky he still has teeth,” Brittney called out loud enough to get picked up by the mic.
“Robby Jr is a bit of a party guy, isn’t he?” Kevin said into the microphone and the crowd laughed, “C’mon Brittney it’ll take but a minute.”
“Fine. What.” She said as she looked out at the sea of people watching her, “And if you make my phone disappear again I’m going to stab you with one of my heels.”
Kevin reached down, let go of the microphone, and picked up what looked to be a shower curtain hanging from a large ring off the stage floor. He then grabbed Brittney by the waist and tugged her close to him despite her squirming slightly. He began raising the ring until both he and Brittney were hidden by the curtain. He stopped just as the bar with the curtain dangling below it got to neck level and wiggled his eyebrows at the crowd. Brittney rolled her eyes and said, “Get on with it Chess club.”
He raised the ring and the curtain as high as he could bring his arm and The Artist Formerly Known as Queen brought up his hands excitedly as he looked at me and screamed, “He’s going to do it! He’s gonna do it!”
Suddenly the hand holding the ring let go, and the curtain dropped and where two had been standing now only Brittney remained. She shot everyone a dazzling smile as she held up her hands and everyone cheered loudly and looked around for where Kevin had disappeared to. I rolled my eyes as I had a pretty good guess where he was right now. Brittney looked back at DJ PitDog and asked, “Can I get a beat please?”
The man nodded to her and she hooked her left foot into the ring and flipped it up as it came loose from the curtain and she caught it with her hand. The Artist Formerly Known as Queen let out a squeal as he called out, “It’s the hula hoop routine!” I blinked and looked up at Brittney as she dropped the hula hoop down her body until it got to her waist and she bounced out one hip and started it spinning to the music. Her body began moving and dancing as the backup dancers took their place out on either side of her. She was utterly hypnotic as she would let the ring go down to her ankles and then flick it back up her legs, then up around her neck as she danced and her arms went up and through, down and around while the hula hoop kept going like it was being propelled by some unseen force. Then she would drop it back to her waist and spin to show off her perfect ass as she gyrated it around. Then it was up her arm, and she alternated which one it spun on as she and the backup dancers wandered around the stage. She flicked it into the air and brought her body in a T-shape with one foot on the ground as she bent at the waist with the other leg kicked straight back, all perfectly level and parallel with the stage. As the loop came down she caught it with her foot and began spinning it up her leg, then back down until she flicked it up again, bounded like a gymnast and while doing a handstand caught the ring with her feet again, still spinning it around and down her body until it got to her waist and then she cartwheeled back onto her feet. People were now cheering her on excitedly as she worked the hula hoop back up her body and then up one arm until she grabbed it in her hand as the song came to an end and then flipped forward, her hair whipping up and in front of her as she took a low bow.
People erupted into loud cheers as they called out for more and she popped back up and winked at us as she lowered the ring to the stage floor and then pulled it up suddenly as the curtain was now reattached. I watched with wide eyes and yelled out, “Go Brittney!”
She flicked her wrist and lowered the ring to her knees and then stepped inside and waved happily as she brought it up until she was covered and it was up as high as she could lift it. I rolled my eyes and expected it to drop and see Kevin standing there next to Brittney once more. I had to admit that these tricks were pretty fun even if I was one of the few people who knew how they were done.
Suddenly Brittney’s hand let go of the ring and it dropped to the stage floor, only this time there was no one there. The stage where she had been standing was now empty.
“Where did she go? Where did he go? How did he do that?” I muttered in astonishment.
One of the Blonde bodysuit triplets leaned over and called out over the cheering in my ear, “None of us gots no idea, but if y’all ever find out, y’all need ta tell me, kay?”
“How did who do what?” Kevin’s voice asked and I spun to find him standing behind me, this time wearing jeans, a band t-shirt, and a sports jacket looking at me with a cocked eyebrow.
The Artist Formerly Known as Queen danced giddily as he screamed next to me with glee, “It’s so amazing!”
I raised my eyebrows and asked, “Where’s Brittney?”
“Where do you want her to be?” He asked me with a large grin.
I let out a sigh and shot him a patronizing look, “What, no flower this time?”
Kevin suddenly blinked and looked questioningly at my hair, “What did you do with the flower I gave you last time?”
“What? It’s still there!” I said and felt my head and noticed it was gone, “Where did it go?”
“What’s that?” he asked as he reached up to my head and then pulled back his hand holding a live wiggling goldfish by the tail.
“What the f…” I started to say as The Artist Formerly Known as Queen squealed and brought his hands to his mouth and danced around in a circle.
“Huh. That’s weird,” He said as he grabbed a cup from someone nearby and asked, “Is this water? Eh, close enough for now.” And dropped the fish in it.
“Do you just have a fish up your sleeve all the time?” I asked him as I felt up and down both of his arms.
“Are you asking if I walk around with a live fish hidden in my clothes all the time? Because that would be kind of creepy,” He said as he looked at me with a raised eyebrow, “Besides, it wasn’t in my sleeve. It was in your hair.”
I let out a squeak and grabbed at my head and petted around, wondering if there were any more hidden aquatic stowaways. Kevin turned and started walking toward the back of the house, “I better find this guy a tank of water before he’s belly up.”
“Wait!” I called out and started after him, but as two bodies came together in front of me and then separated he was suddenly gone. I let out a sigh and looked around for any trace of him. Suddenly an older woman who was completely naked called out, “Come on everybody! We’re going streaking!” and darted past me with a loud “Woo hoo!” I blinked a few times and then saw Brad off on the far side of the room call out in startled voice, “Mom? What the hell!”
Suddenly at least three dozen people who were all naked went running through the room and as they went past everyone began cheering like crazy. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out and saw a text from Brittney, How the fuck did I get in my bedroom? Where are you? I’m going to kill Kevin with an ice cream scooper!
I tucked my phone in my pocket and made my way through the crowd trying to get up the stairs and to Brittney’s bedroom. As I shoved my way through people in the hallway and managed to make it to Brittney’s room I saw that she wasn’t in there, but a group of people were crowded around the lead guitarist from White Hot Chili Tamales. He took a sip from his glass and I heard him say, “So we were in the middle of nowhere Ohio and our tour bus broke down, right? And who happens to be driving by in a giant tow truck but Kevin! And he’s got this knockout hot redhead next to him. He says he’s on the way to pick up the Ferrari that she crashed, but as long as he’s driving by he’ll give us a tow into the next town. So we get hooked up, he drags us to a hotel and we started jamming for a little bit. He showed me this kick ass riff and I was like I need to put that in our next song and he goes, sure, go for it man! He’s a class fucking act, mate!”
I pulled out my phone and texted, Where are you? You’re not in your bedroom! Still looking! I turned and went down the hallway and suddenly Hannah grabbed my arm, “You have to come see who is in the pool!” She drags me through the hallway and down to the pool room off the side of the house and she points, “It’s freak’n Gregory Pitts! He’s this year’s hottest man on the planet? And last years too! This party is ridiculous! C’mon! Let’s go swim with him!”
She peeled off her shorts and yanked off her tank top and dove into the pool. She looked back at me and motioned me to follow her, but I remembered that I still had my panties in my pocket and shook my head, “Sorry, I have a boyfriend, but you have fun, okay!”
She shrugged and swam off and I suddenly recognized a laugh and looked over to the hot tub and saw Kevin sitting on the side with his feet in the water wearing a pair of board shorts with a towel around his neck. I walked over to him and he smiled at me, “Hey, put your feet in the water. It feels great!”
“Have you seen Brittney?” I asked him but he shook his head and replied, “I’m sure she’s around. She’ll stand a better chance of finding us if we stay in one spot.”
I couldn’t argue with his reasoning so I sat down next to him and pulled out my phone and texted Brittney, At hot tub with Kevin. Come find us! I looked up and then did a double take as I realized that the lead actor from Space Wars was sitting across from us in the hot tub with a group of people around him.
“So I’m at this casino in Monaco minding my own business in the VIP area playing some baccarat right? And suddenly this kid comes in riding on a freak’n goat! A goat! He’s in a full tux with a completely stacked red headed girl in an utterly brief cocktail dress and he’s riding a goat. So these two suits and the pit boss walk over to him, and the pit boss goes, ‘Sir, you can’t bring a goat in here.’ And so the kid looks at him and goes, ‘Well the sign outside said no donkeys!’ with a straight look on his face!” The actor lets out a howling laugh along with everyone else in the hot tub, “So he hops off his ride and the suits take it and he goes over and drops one hundred and forty seven thousand seven hundred and thirty two dollars on red thirty two. The dude at the table gives him this look and then shrugs and spins the ball, right? And what does it land on? Huh? Huh? You got it! Red thirty two! Suddenly the Pit Boss is all worked up and he comes running back over and he’s all excited about how everything went down when the both the dealer and the Pit Boss notice the kid isn’t at the table anymore! He’s off walking to the bar with the red head. And so they call out, ‘Sir! You won! You have to come back!’ and he looks over at the red head and then back at the guys at the table and says to ‘em, ‘Keep the money, I already won.’ and walks to the bar! So I picked up my chips and headed over to buy the guy a drink because I told myself, this is a guy I have to get to know, right? And who does it turn out that kid is? This fucker right here!” The actor pointed at Kevin and laughed loudly, “And it’s been a wild ride ever since, huh?”
Kevin shrugged and rubbed the back of his head, “I have my good days and my bad days like everybody else.”
Suddenly I heard Brittney scream out loudly, “CHESS CLUB!” We spun and saw her at the doorway as she fumed. She was in a new outfit, a shiny pink tank top and short black skirt with black stiletto heels and dark nylons with her hair pulled back with a pink headband.
She stomped over and stopped just behind our backs and glared down at us as she pointed at Kevin, “There is a panda in my parents’ bedroom!” A few people started to laugh until she glared at them and then looked back to Kevin, “Not like a stuffed panda, or a mechanical panda, or even a baby panda.” She paused and sucked in a breath and screamed as she balled her fists at her waist, “A LIVE FULL GROWN FUCKING PANDA BEAR IN MY FUCKING PARENTS BEDROOM CHESS CLUB!”
The people in the hot tub couldn’t hold back anymore and started laughing loudly as Kevin leaned back and looked up at her and said with a smile and a wink, “Oh that’s just Pie Lynn. You’ll love him, he’s a sweetheart.”
“HE’S EATING MY PARENTS COMFORTER! HE’S DESTROYING THEIR BED!” She yelled back down at him.
“Oh that’s right they have the floral design with all the leaves and what not. I can see where Pie Lynn would be a bit confused.” Kevin said as he thought for a moment.
“CHESS CLUB!” She screamed at the top of her lungs and he backed away from her an inch or two.
“Well, I can sense that you’re concerned about this, and I want to make you happy, so I’ll take care of it, okay Britt?” He paused and looked over his shoulder, “Janice could you possibly get me some ants on a log?”
“I don’t think we have any ants Mr. Kevin,” She replied as she shook her head.
“Oh, no. I mean celery sticks with peanut butter and raisins on them,” Kevin replied, “Pie Lynn loves those.”
“Oh! Yes, I can whip some up real quick!” She nodded and headed off to the kitchen.
“I’ll come help. This seems to be a bit of an emergency,” Kevin said as he pulled his legs out of the hot tub and started after Janice.
“Where did Janice even come from? I didn’t see her there,” I muttered as Brittney just stood there shaking with rage.
“This was your idea!” She said as she pointed a finger at me, “You did this!”
I looked back at her and said, “You’re the one didn’t want to just invite his friends from school because it would be a nerd fest! Remember that?”
“Ladies! What is the problem?” an absolutely gorgeous redheaded woman completely naked save for a very tiny and almost transparent triangular thong asked as she pushed her way in between us and smiled, “You’ve both thrown a lovely party, why don’t you sit for a bit and enjoy it.”
“Listen lady, I don’t know who you are, but I’ll…” Brittney said as she cocked back an arm.
“Oh, how rude of me, I’m Norman!” The woman said as she winked at us slyly and then looked around to everyone giving her a strange look, “It’s a very common ladies name where I come from but everyone looks at me like that here!”
She let out a sultry peel of laughter as she looked back at us and said, “So I have you two to thank for the lovely invite to this little event? You see I was ever so disappointed when young Kevin sent me a letter a while back saying that he was leaving me and my lifestyle for good. I’m so happy that I get the chance to say goodbye in person!”
She wrapped an arm around both of us and pulled us tightly to her chest and I couldn’t help but feel her full perky breasts press against me and noticed that her nipples were like little pebbles stabbing into me. She let us go and then reached down and ran a finger over her extended nubs and then added, “I have to say, now that I see you both in person I’m a bit curious why he’s throwing it all away, but he’s a sharp boy so I’m certain you’re both…” She paused and gave us a cheshire grin, “worth it.”
“I can’t believe we’re meeting Norman! Were you along for all of these little adventures I’ve been learning about today?” I asked as I took in the woman who stood in front of me and realized it was Kevin’s body hopper mentor.
“Well, some of them,” She said with a shrug that caused her breasts to wobble obscenely, “You see our little Kevy didn’t really come out of his shell for the first, oh, three or four months that I knew him, and then after a bit I might have left him a bit rashly and he flew solo for a while, but you have to kick the baby birds out of the nest to see if they have learned how to fly at some point, right?”
“Um I suppose,” I replied with a shrug and noticed Brittney slowly edging away with a bit of a frightened look on her face.
“What’s wrong dear?” The woman said to Brittney as she followed my gaze.
“I… have to…” Brittney stuttered out but her voice eventually trailed off as she turned to go.
Norman strolled after her with a sway to her hips and I looked at everyone in the hot tub blankly and waved at them as I turned to follow, “It was lovely meeting all of you!”
They all waved goodbye and I jogged to catch up to Norman. She disappeared around a corner and I ran the next bit to catch up but when I got there she was gone. I frowned and looked around but couldn’t see her in the sea of people. Suddenly I saw a closet door opening not far from me and noticed it was Brittney walking out of it. She had a grin on her face and strange look in her eyes and as I got close to her.
“Hey, why did you bail? Where did Norman go?” I asked and then looked into the still partially open closet door and saw the redhead passed out on the floor with a few coats tossed on top of her like there had been a bit of a struggle in the closet.
I looked at Brittney as she put an arm around my neck and pulled me close and giggled, “Two best friends in one! This is going to be so much fun! Let’s go dance slut!”
She dragged me out onto the dance floor and instantly picked up the beat of the music as her hips began to swing and her arms went up and she ran her hands through her hair while smiling at me. I didn’t quite know what to do so I began dancing with a nervous look on my face. She rolled her eyes as she pulled me close and began grinding on me, “Relax slut, your best friend is fine.” She looked down at her own body as she ran her hands down over her breasts, past her sides and over her wide hips before looking back up at me with another wink, “Very fine indeed. I just love a tight little cheerleader!”
She giggled in an almost evil tone as she spun and brought her back to me and began to grind back against my legs. I tried to keep up the pretense of having a good time on the dance floor with my best friend but my face must not have matched what I was trying to present. Brittney spun around and put her arms over my shoulders and brought our faces close together as she said, “C’mon Aims, you need to loosen up your hips and really move with the beat! Or is there something else bothering you?”
“She just seemed really afraid. I’m worried for her,” I said as I tried my best to keep a fake smile on my face for everyone watching us, “Why don’t we find somewhere quiet and you can slip into me instead?” I whispered into her ear and then pulled back to see her reaction.
“No can do slut,” she replied and grabbed my hand once more as she bounced and shook her way off the side of the dance floor and then turned and yelled back to me over the loud music, “Let’s go find some air!”
She pulled me through the next room, and then toward one of the exits out the back and stopped as she saw Tiffany who was chatting with a boy while spinning her hair around one of her fingers. Brittney smiled at her and said with a wink, “Looking good Phillip!” then she continued to pull me out the door and into the cool night air.
She shook her head and smoothed her hair back over her shoulders as she fanned her face with her hands and then looked at me, “Oh that’s better, and now we can talk without yelling. I just want to start out by saying it’s sweet that you’re worried about your friend. I think it’s absolutely adorable that dear old dad tried to corner Kevin over his little princess as well.” She paused as she brought a finger to her cheek and got a thoughtful look on her face, “I wonder if he ever realized that you two little kittens would invite the jackals right into his house and then throw open the gates for us?”
I now had a gnawing feeling in my stomach as I looked at Brittney and she leaned back against the handrail of the large deck we had walked out on. She saw the trepidation on my face and then hopped back up to sit on the hand rail and crossed her legs as she looked down at her fingernails, almost like she was appraising them, “This little crème puff has such a privileged life. It would be fun to relax here for a bit and get pampered, you know?”
“Is that what you’re going to do? Take over Brittney’s life for a bit?” I asked as I looked up at her smiling face.
“Oh kitten, your face is adorable,” She paused and then looked around at the space between us and the next group of people, “I can see from Brittney’s thoughts that your life isn’t so rough either. I wonder if I can make your face look that innocent and concerned all at the same time too.”
I let out a gasp and took a half step away from her and collected myself and stepped closer to her once more, “If that’s what you want and it gets you out of Brittney, I’ll accept.”
“You try to put on such a brave face, but I wonder what you’ll really have to say when you wake up in your room and you’re the biggest slut around and your parents have watched all the sex tapes I’ve made while I wandered the town in your tight little ass.” She said as she batted her eyelashes at me and let out another peel of laughter.
“I… I thought you were Kevin’s friend?” I asked and hoped he was somewhere around. Could he do anything about this? I pulled my phone out of my pocket and went to text him when Brittney grabbed it out of my hands as she dropped off the hand rail and hid it behind her back.
“You didn’t think this through very well did you kitten? Don’t you think there was a reason we split off? I wanted to keep on using and abusing. Sweet young Kevin was getting too attached and actually cared about his mounts and I couldn’t quite break him of that bad habit. So eventually I had to dump him and move on…” She paused and smirked at me as she held up her arms, “But now, thanks to you and cute little Brittney here, I have the perfect leverage against him. He can come back with me and start playing, or he can watch as I ruin the two reasons he settled down. Either way I win!”
Brittney’s head went back and she let out a loud bought of maniacal laughter before leaning forward and hugging me tightly and then whispering in my ear, “And it’s all thanks to you kitten. I definitely owe you for this, and I promise I’m going to help make sure you get everything that’s coming to you.”
I broke free of her grasp and pushed her back roughly against the handrail of the deck as I declared, “You won’t get away with this. I’m going to tell Kevin what you’re doing. We’ll find a way to stop you!”
She cocked her head at me and brought up a hand in front of her mouth as stifled a laugh, “Oh kitten, that’s so cute. You think you can stop me. Who do you think taught Kevin everything he knows? I’m three steps ahead of him. And you’re not even sharp enough to play the game.”
She then suddenly grabbed my wrist and dragged me down the deck. I fought back against her, but she had a vice-like grip on my arm. People were staring at us as I fought to get my arm back from her but before I could she dragged me into the pool area from another doorway and spun me around to face her, “I think you need to cool off a bit, kitten.”
She shoved me roughly backwards and I flailed as I fell backwards into the pool with a splash. The cool water jolted my system and I shuddered as I went under. My eyes were open in fear as I saw Brittney’s sneering face looking down at me through the turbulent water. I came up with a gasp and she knelt down on the side of the pool, “Aw, did I make you all wet? You should probably go get some dry clothes, kitten.”
She stood up and walked off with a strut as I splashed at her in anger and then looked around. People were staring at me. I pulled the wet hair out of my face and climbed up the edge of the pool and thought about storming after her, but I realized Norman was right. I wasn’t up for this game, I was just a pawn. I needed to find Kevin.
I left through a different door, keeping my eyes on a constant sweep for him. I wished Brittney… or Norman… hadn’t taken my phone. Kevin wasn’t by the stage or the dance floor, so I headed up the stairs and started looking through the crowds of people and random rooms. I pushed my way past the line for the bathroom upstairs and checked a door, but the room was just full of people staring at an older woman as she danced on a large bed. She grabbed one of the long poles holding up the canopy and swung around it like a trained stripper to the cheers of men standing around it. I suddenly heard Brad’s voice call out, “Mom, when did you learn how to move like a stripper?” I let out a groan as I realized I found another body hopper, but not the one I was looking for.
I closed the door and continued down the hallway and one person I pushed past said, “Oh come on! You’re getting me all wet! At least dry off lady!”
I realized I was by Brittney’s room and my bag was in there. I could check there and also get changed into some dry clothes and also see if I could message Kevin from her computer. I opened her door and slipped inside. Thankfully it was empty. I grabbed my bag and brought it into her bathroom, toweled myself off, and opened my bag. My eyes went wide as I saw it was almost empty. I pulled out a miniscule white thong, a shimmering pink tank top, a short black skirt, some dark nylons and a pair of heels. The last thing in the bag was a matching pink headband that had a note attached to it, Hey kitten, I thought it would be fun if you had the same outfit as your bestie. XOXO Norman.
I growled in frustration and rolled my eyes, but it was better than the soaking wet clothes I had been in, so I slipped into them. As soon as I was dressed I headed to Brittney’s laptop and clicked the button, but nothing happened. I looked and saw the power cord and the battery had been taken.
“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath and looked around. Without some other way to contact Kevin I would need to keep looking for him the old fashioned way. I left the room and headed down the hallway. I checked a few more rooms with no success and then headed back down the stairs. How could one person be so hard to find? Especially seeing as it was his birthday! I wanted to start crying but I forced back my tears. I felt a tingling in my stomach and my breath was starting to come in gasps. I was afraid. What would Norman do to Brittney? What could Kevin even do? Maybe I should try and get in touch with Brittney’s dad? He seemed to have some experience. I found I had wandered out into the middle of the dance floor as I continued my search and suddenly I felt my arm flip up and my fingers snap as the music came to a stop while the spotlight again shot to me.
Everyone on the dance floor turned to look at me and I felt my body move to cock out a hip as I put the hand that was hanging loosely by my side to my hip. I felt my face flush and then felt my fingers snap again as music started to a different song.
My mouth opened and I began to sing out loudly, “We can dance if we want to; We can leave your friends behind. ‘Cause your friends don’t dance and if they don’t dance; Well, they’re no friends of mine.”
Suddenly the rest of the cheer squad was on the dance floor with me and we were all wearing matching outfits. Our shiny pink tops and short black skirts flipped around our nylon covered thighs in unison as we started to dance. My mouth opened once more as I continued, “Say, we can go where we want to; A place where they will never find. And we can act like we come from out of this world; Leave the real one far behind.”
I sang and danced as people cheered around me, and as I did a spin I noticed Brittney was just behind me to my right, her body dancing in time to the music just like mine with a happy grin on her face. I flung an arm out and gyrated my hips as my body continued on to the music. The tempo ramped up and the entire cheer squad ramped up our dancing with it. I felt my hair, still just a bit damp flipping around my face and shoulders as the pit in my stomach turned into an ache. How was there a body hopper in me already? What would I soon be doing? Would Kevin find me? Would he save both me and Brittney? Everyone was cheering even louder as we put on a show for them, none the wiser that not one of us was actually ourselves. The entire cheerleading squad had been stolen and no one even knew.
As the song ended, my body moved to the side and Brittney took my spot in the center of the group and I became one of her backup dancers as she sang out about girls just wanting to have fun. I moved in complete sync with the other girls and it sprung to my mind that Norman must have been plotting this for some time. I lined up with the other girls and moved my hand to slap Hannah’s ass as I felt Tiffany’s hand slap at mine, and so on down the line, as we cocked our legs in our short up-riding skirts it suddenly dawned on me the sheer numbers of body hoppers that this little show would take. As I spun and my hair again flicked by my face I wondered if Norman had brought a small army with him. They were obviously well prepared.
The song ended as Brittney rejoined the girls and they spun around me, and my mouth opened once more as I sang a new song back in the center of the group. My face was outwardly happy and carefree as I bounced around with my friends, but inside I couldn’t do anything but watch in fear. As I called out, “Wake me up, before you go, go!” I realized the small consolation prize of the situation would be that Kevin would have to notice this, right? There would be no way he could miss the entire cheerleading squad and especially both Brittney and I dancing a show at his birthday party in costumes on the dance floor.
As the dance ended my body was panting. Whoever was driving me had put me through my paces, but my face still had a bright smile painted on it. As the girls around me shot upright and came to stand side by side with me my mouth opened and proudly declared, “This interruption from your normal party music was brought to you by the eighties. It may have had some issues, but it gave us some damn good tunes. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming! Thanks everyone! Have fun!”
My hand then went up and snapped once more and the silence switched back to music and I started to run for the stairs. From the sound of heels behind me I could tell the rest of the girls were following me. We went up the stairs and down the hall. My body opened a door and held it while the rest of the girls disappeared through it except for Brittney. She stood with that sinister grin on her face and gave my body a fist bump. We then both spun on our heels and went into her bedroom, which was next door to the room I had lead the others into. I wondered what would happen to the rest of the girls. This had been brought down on them because of me. None of them deserved this.
My body, still catching its breath, planted my hands on my hips and turned to see Brittney closing her bedroom door before walking over to me. “I’d imagine you’re wondering what happens now kitten? Well, I’m not complete evil, so I’m going to give you and your friend two minutes to say good-bye to each other.”
I saw Brittney shudder as I felt the same go through me and I blinked twice as I realized I had control back. It took Brittney a moment as well, but then we both reached for each other. I pulled her fiercely to me as I felt my eyes water.
“I’m so sorry! This is all my fault!” I exclaimed.
“I hate that I pushed you in the pool. He made me watch everything my body did!”
“I’ll try to bargain with him again,” I said not knowing what else to do, “he can have me willingly if he lets you go.”
Brittney violently shook her head, “You’ll do no such thing! We’re going to fight them. Every moment. They will eventually get tired, sick of us, or bored. Maybe all three, but you will never give up, do you hear me? Either Kevin or I will find you. Got it? Say it back to me. Say you won’t give up!”
“I… I won’t give up!” I promised her with a quick nod.
Suddenly I saw her shudder as she pulled away from me, “Oops times up. I hope you got all…” Brittney’s body began shaking and I saw her teeth grit as she interrupted the body hopper inside her, “Fuck you Norman. L… Lick me where I piss.”
“Oh I like this body… It’s feisty!” Norman declared as he reasserted his control until Brittney fought through him once more to say, “Kevin will… He’ll find us…”