I walked into school on Monday and was bombarded by people high fiving me, or telling me it was the best party they had ever even heard of. I smiled and nodded and thanked everyone who talked to me on my way to my locker, stowed some of my things and grabbed my books for the first period. I then wandered down to Kevin’s locker and as I rounded the corner my jaw clenched.
I saw Kevin leaning back against his locker as Gisselle stood in front of him, spinning a lock of her blonde hair around her finger as she smiled and chatted with him, and then reached out and ran her hand down his arm. What the hell was with that girl? As I felt steam coming from my ears she laughed heartily at something Kevin had said and then leaned in against him, pressing her breasts against his chest as she looked up at him sweetly. I swear she tried to bump her lips against his, but Kevin pulled his head back and looked down at her quizzically. His eyebrows raised and he looked around and then spotted me and waved.
I stomped down the hallway and as I got there the two of them separated. I pushed past Gisselle with my back toward her as I puckered toward Kevin’s face and was rewarded with him leaning forward to give me a kiss on the lips. As he pulled back I looked over my shoulder and said, “Oh, hey Gisselle, can I help you with something?”
“No, I was just telling Kevin that I really enjoyed his birthday party,” She said as she looked past me to Kevin’s face.
“Oh. Because from where I was standing it looked like you were trying to hook up with yet another boy that I was already with,” I replied in a nasty tone.
“He’s not married to you or anything. You guys only started dating like, what, a week ago? Calm down,” She replied in an equally nasty tone and then added, “Unless you have to mark your territory because you don’t think you can keep the men in your life from getting bored and straying.”
I heard several people suck in their breath and a few “Oooohs!” as they watched us get catty with one another.
“Why don’t you go find out what Brad’s doing. The two of you are a perfect match. I didn’t care when you wanted to snake your way into his pants, but here’s the only warning you’re going to get from me with Kevin,” I took a step closer to her, “Keep your paws to yourself or I’ll pop your head like a zit.”
“Oh scary!” She said as she waved her hands in the air, “Wait, no. Get over yourself Summers. The day Brittney graduates you’ll go back to being a loser crying under the bleachers and eating your lunch in the bathroom.”
I suddenly felt Kevin’s arm around my waist as he looked over my shoulder at Gisselle and said, “Thanks for coming to my party the other night Gisselle. I’m really glad you had a good time, but I’m with Amy right now and that’s not going to change, even if I’m holding a tissue box under the bleachers and eating lunch in a stall alongside her.”
Gisselle sighed and turned to leave, flipping her blonde hair as she did so and then started to walk away. She looked over her shoulder and said, “That’s a shame Kevin. The two of us could really be the new royalty of this school. If you change your mind let me know. Oh, and you’re still invited to the pom squad’s first practice. We’d love to know what you think.”
After she left Kevin looked at me with a small smile, “Pop your head like a zit?”
“I was channeling my inner Brittney,” I said with a scowl, “I can’t believe that skank just has to go after whatever boy I’m seeing at the moment.”
Kevin put his arm around my shoulder and said in a reassuring voice, “Well she can try all she wants, she’s not getting me.”
“Thank you. It feels good to hear that,” I replied and wrapped my arms around him.
After a moment I pulled back and looked at him, “What did she mean when she was inviting you to the pom squad practice? We don’t have a pom squad.”
“Oh, she was talking about how they just started one. You and Britt didn’t know? She asked like… all of the cheerleaders to join it. Something about everyone being sick and tired of Brittney’s rule of terror.”
“Wait, what? No, I didn’t hear about this!” I said as I pushed away from him.
“Oh. Sorry. I probably would have mentioned it, but I thought you and Britt knew and didn’t care or something.”
“Oh if Brittney knew she’d have been pissed. I would not have missed her rant about this…” I paused as things clicked in my head, “Oh no. That means Brittney doesn’t know.”
I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and quickly started texting Brittney. I took Kevin’s hand and pulled him, “We should go check on her.”
He nodded and followed me through the hallway and I could see people turning their head to look at us as we passed. A few were reaching out to fist bump Kevin and tell him how awesome the party was, and a few of them looked at me with lust as they said, “Hey, really enjoyed that dance you guys did.”
I didn’t respond as I made my way toward Brittney’s locker. When we got there I could see her lips curled into a sneer as she looked down at her phone and her eyebrows were furrowed in anger. She looked up and saw us coming and turned to her locker and began fumbling with the dial. I stopped next to her and went to put my arms around her shoulders but she shrugged me off.
“I don’t need a pity hug.”
“I was just trying to…”
“Well don’t,” She cut me off as she continued fumbling with her locker.
She cut me off again, “I don’t know! I need to find out who bailed. I need to find out who started this whole pom squad idea. Then I need to find an abandoned warehouse and enough chain to keep them locked up for a while so I can torture them. That is my plan right now. You can help me with that or you can stay out of my way.”
“Brittney I think…” Kevin started to say.
“Shut up Chess Club. I don’t care what you think,” She interrupted Kevin and then punched her locker, “Why won’t this fucking thing open! Stupid fucking locker!” She kicked at it twice and then went back to spinning the dial.
Kevin let out a quick breath and then stepped past me and between Brittney and her locker and reached down to spin the dial. He quickly went around a few times, and then tugged on the opener. The door swung open to reveal neatly stacked books, pictures of Brittney and I, and some of the cheer team, along with a few ribbons that we had won.
She glared at him, “How the fuck do you know my locker combo Chess Club?”
Kevin raised his eyebrows and then looked around at the group of people who had gathered around us waiting to see Brittney go ballistic and then said, “I think you know how,” he paused and then said, “I’m dating Amy and Amy knows it.”
Brittney took a step back and blinked a few times and then let out a long breath, “This sharing everything is weird. And you knowing everything and us not knowing anything is getting seriously fucking old Chess Club.”
Kevin nodded to her, “Okay. We’ll work on that.”
“I don’t want to work on it, Chess Club. I have my own problems right now. Don’t you have somewhere to be?”
“Yeah. I do. I’ll see you guys later,” Kevin said as he gave my hand a quick squeeze and then walked down the hallway off to his first period class. Half the group that was gathered seemed to follow him and Brittney turned and shooed the rest of them away from us with her hands and an evil glare, then spun back and grabbed some books from her locker.
“We need an emergency cheer meeting. Girls room by the auditorium. Beginning of second period. Spread the word to the girls you know we can trust.”
With that she spun on her heels and stormed down the hallway. People dove out of the way as she stomped by them.
“Those ungrateful little bitches!” Brittney swore as she shook with rage, her small hands balled tightly into fists, “If they think I’m going to take them back after this little slut brigade falls apart they are completely fucking high on something!”
She looked around at the gathered girls and scowled, “Why didn’t anyone say anything to me?”
“I didn’t know until this morning,” I said with a shrug.
“I thought you knew,” Rachel replied and looked at her feet.
“I didn’t want to piss you off by being the one to tell you,” Hannah said as she took a step back.
“Oh for fucks fucking sake!” Brittney swore loudly, “So this is some skank and football team payback? Those two fucks bailed on us in the middle of the season and now how are we supposed to get two more girls up to speed on the cheers? We’re fucked for competition. Oh I’m going to…”
“Why don’t we concentrate on fixing the situation? Who can we get to join the squad that has some skill and can actually pull this off?” I interrupted Brittney’s tirade and tried to steer the conversation away from her heading into plans of revenge.
“What about Kiara? She’s pretty limber, and she’s done some gymnastics. She tried out for the team but didn’t make it,” Rachel said with a shrug.
“Kiara got picked up by the pom squad. They took all the girls that tried out but didn’t make the team,” Hannah replied quietly.
“They fucking stole every girl with any amount of talent? Are you fucking with me right now?” Brittney swore as she paced back and forth in the girl’s bathroom clenching and unclenching her fists.
“They also picked up any girl that has a cute smile and the football players crush on. They promised them dates with the football guys,” Hannah added in a still quiet voice.
Brittney’s face turned toward Hannah and she gave the poor girl a piercing stare, “You need to tell me this shit sooner.”
“Brittney it’s not her fault. You want to scare her off to the pom squad too?” I said as I stepped next to Hannah and put an arm around her shoulder protectively.
“Amy I will…” Brittney started to say until I cut her off and snapped back, “No! Stop it! You’re part of this problem. You call everyone names, push everyone so hard, and they left. Now we need to stop fighting among ourselves and figure out what to do. If you don’t want to do that you’re doing this wrong and don’t deserve to lead us.”
Brittney took a step toward me and I thought she was going to hit me for a minute and then suddenly she was hugging me and Hannah as she let out a sniffle, “I just want us to be the best! I push everyone to be the best! I know I’m pushy, but we are the best.”
Hannah looked at me with wide eyes and then slowly brought up a hand and patted Brittney’s shoulders. Brittney let out a long sigh and then pulled back and wiped her eyes quickly and said, “Okay. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m a bitch and I push everyone. I really appreciate you guys staying on the cheerleading squad and not just bailing on me completely.”
“We wouldn’t do that to you Brittney, you scare the shit out of us,” Tiffany said with a watery eyed grin.
“Well, that and you do take care of all of us. Seriously Brittney, you watch out for us all. No one messes with me being in any advanced classes because they know you have my back. I use to get called a nerd or a dork all the time, but since I got on the squad everyone leaves me along and I have a pile of friends that I know have my back. I wouldn’t turn on you just because some girls want to hook up with the football team assholes,” Hannah told her as she again patted Brittney’s shoulders.
“Thanks,” Brittney said and then looked at me, “We need to go and battle plan and I’m not doing that in the fucking bathroom. Manny Peddys. Now. Let’s go.”
“I can’t skip,” Hannah told her, “I have a test in Advanced Geo.”
“I’ll get kicked off the team if I have any more unexcused absences,” Rachel replied with a shrug, “But if you and Amy come up with something, I’ll support it.”
Several other girls nodded and most of them murmured in agreement that whatever the two of us came up with the whole squad would back us up. I was suddenly surprised how many girls looked to me for support as well as Brittney.
Brittney nodded, “Okay. We’ll be back for practice. We need to have a team meeting. And let those two traitors know that if I catch a glimpse of them I’ll wreck their faces.”
“No. Don’t tell them that,” I said as I shook my head, “Be cordial, but don’t tell them anything about what we are thinking or doing. Act like they are just friends like normal, but they are cut out of knowing what we are doing.”
“Since when do you get to give out orders? And why would we be nice to them in any amount what-so-ever?” Brittney asked as her eyes narrowed at me.
“Well, for one we don’t want to lose another cheerleader when you get kicked off the team for threatening them, so suck it up buttercup. The other thing is we don’t want them to know what we’re up to, and having you act like nothing is wrong will definitely throw them for a loop. Everyone is expecting you to want to rip their heads off, so if you’re smiling and normal they will suddenly wonder if you were just waiting for them to quit anyway, or if they made some serious mistake,” I told her.
“They did make a mistake,” Hannah said as she rolled her eyes, “But yeah, fine. I’ll play nice with them.”
The rest of the girls nodded as well and then we all left the bathroom. Brittney tucked some hair behind her ears and put on a grin and waved to Hannah as she led the rest of the squad down the opposite hallway as us. She then hooked her arm in mine and we headed down the hallway and out of the school and toward her car. As we got there I saw someone lying on the hood of her car.
Brittney let out a loud sigh, “What the fuck are you doing on my car Norman?”
“I saw the two of you post on your social media accounts about the cheer-traitors. I came over as fast as I could to show my support,” He said as he rolled toward us and smiled brightly.
“What are you wearing?” I said as I started to laugh.
“This is my work out outfit,” He said as he flexed his thin arm.
“I don’t even wear shorts that short Norman. How are you not dangling out of them?” Brittney said as she slapped a hand over her face, “And are you seriously wearing a woman’s blouse tied on your stomach?”
“It’s not a woman’s blouse if a man is wearing it Sassy Pants.”
Brittney grumbled under her breath at him and then pointed at the ground, “Off my car. We’re leaving for manny peddys.”
“Oh! I haven’t had a manny peddy in forever! I’m so in!” Norman brought his hands up as he shook them with excitement and let out a little squeal.
“I wasn’t inviting you,” Brittney said as she scowled at Norman, “I can already tell you’re going to be too much for me to handle today. I’m having a bit of a crisis here and I just can’t deal with you right now.”
“Ouchies! That hurts Sassy Pants!” Norman said as he pouted at her, “You know I could help you with your problem. I’m big on helping.”
“Norman, your gay is at like… an eleven right now. I just can’t, okay? I just…” Brittney said as she shook her head.
“Really? You’re going to judge me on my gay?” Norman looked at her with shock.
“Can you just like… tone it down to a seven?” Brittney asked, “You tone it down and you can come.”
“Yay!” Norman said as he got off the hood of her car and started to prance in circles, “I can reel it in a little for you Sassy Pants!”
“And now you’re at a twelve,” Brittney said as she rolled her eyes and walked around her car and got in the driver’s seat.
I got in the passenger side and saw Norman climb in the back and then he popped his head in between us, “Isn’t this just such a little adventure! Just us girls! It’s going to be AMAZING!”
“You’re not a girl Norman,” Brittney muttered and then started her car and backed out of her stall and left the school parking lot.
“Oh! Turn left up here.”
“I know how to get to the nail salon Norman,” Brittney shot back at him.
“Obviously, but you don’t know how to get to my salon Sassy Pants!”
“Oh for fucks fucking sake.”
Brittney turned and headed in the direction Norman wanted her to go. After zigging across town we wound up at a dilapidated old strip mall where Norman got out and pranced over to a door, “This way! Hurry up! We’re late!”
“Norman, we’re walk-ins,” I said with a giggle.
“Oh really?” He opened the door and a small oriental woman clapped her hands at us.
“Ah Mister Norman! It’s very good to see you ‘gain! I have-a three chair right here, just like you want,” The woman said in a very broken accent as she motioned us to come in.
Brittney and I looked at each other and then back at Norman who smiled at us, “Oh puh-lease. I just knew Brittney would need a manny peddy to strategize how to take down the tramp-squad! And Mrs. Chow here does the absolute best job in this town. Now get your cute little butts in the chairs!”
Brittney sighed as she walked past me and plopped into a chair, “Okay, you’re right. Maybe you can help me bring down the tramp-squad.”
“Damn straight I can. I’ve broken up more all girl teams then you’ve known existed Sassy Pants,” Norman said as he plopped into the chair next to her and then patted the empty one and gave me a smug grin, “Sorry kitten, looks like I get to sit next to the queen bee. I hope you’re not seething with jealousy over me stealing her from you.”
“I’ll get over it Norman,” I said as I walked over and then bent forward and kissed him on the cheek, “Thank you for this. It’s sweet.”
He brought his hand up and touched where I had kissed him and then scowled at me, “You are such a little tart! How can I stay mad at you for stealing my Kevy and get my revenge by taking your friend if you’re such a little sweetheart!”
“Is that what this is about Norman?” I shook my head, “Why can’t we all just get along together?”
“You mean like… we all share Kevin and each other like a pile of friends?” Norman asked as he looked at me like I was crazy.
“Woah. I don’t want more friends. Friends are work,” Brittney said as she shook her head, “I’m full up thank you.”
“Exactly,” Norman replied and nodded at Brittney.
“Fine. Then I’m keeping Kevin and Brittney,” I said as I sat down in the chair next to Norman and stuck my tongue out at him.
He rolled his eyes at me and then leaned over to Brittney and asked, “How do you deal with her?”
“It’s a constant trial,” Brittney muttered as some women came out from the back and knelt down in front of us and started filling tubs of water and then knelt down to begin massaging our feet.
Norman moaned in pleasure, “Oh that is good. Really get in there. I carry all of my stress in my big toes and my calves.”
I leaned back and closed my eyes as I enjoyed the woman rubbing my feet as well. Brittney let out a huff, “I needed this.”
“Oh, so what are we doing about the tramp squad?” Norman asked her.
“We as in me and Amy and the rest of the cheerleaders are going to find two new members from… I don’t know… go on to win the cheer competition and then make them look like a bunch of clumsy cows in front of the whole school the next time we’re both dancing at the same school function. The two traitors will see how awesome we are and come crawling back and I will laugh at them and cast them back to the slut table in the lunchroom where they can talk about STDs with Giselle as much as they want and then everyone will know that I am not to be fucked with or you will lose everything you hold dear,” Brittney declared in an angry tone.
“Well there is no way you’re winning the cheer competition with the cheers you have now,” Norman said as he leaned back in his chair and then looked down at the woman massaging his legs, “Just a bit rougher on my calf deary! Really dig in there.”
The woman at Norman’s feet nodded as Brittney yanked her feet away from her masseuse and leaned over the arm of her chair and growled at Norman menacingly, “Our routine is fucking gold! What the hell do you know about winning a competition?”
Norman didn’t seem concerned as he rolled his eyes, “Brittney Brittney Brittney. Did you know that cheerleading started as men going to games to cheer on their team? Women squads with the cute little skirts and such didn’t start until I pushed for it. You’re welcome.”
“You invented cheerleading?” I said with a laugh.
“I didn’t invent it. But I was the one that made it into cute little things bouncing around and showing off their stuff. I was the one that added pom-poms. It was a different time back then, though. I mean, no one wanted women to be involved in sports… Hell they didn’t even want women voting. What kind of a system is that, anyway? I mean you two are perfect examples of intelligent young women. Why in the hell would anyone not want your opinion? Men can be such stuffy pigs, you know?” Norman said and then let out a small groan, “Oh that is the spot right there.”
“Why the hell do you care about women’s voting? And just because you think you invented pom-poms doesn’t mean you know how to win a competition now,” Brittney said as she plopped back into her seat and gave her feet back to the woman waiting patiently to resume her foot massage.
“Sassy Pants I spend time in a fair amount of women. I also happen to enjoy the company of men. I don’t give a hoot who you are or what equipment you have or how you like to use it, everyone should have a voice. It makes life more interesting,” Norman rebuked her, “And I didn’t just invent the pom poms. You know the California Super Stars? I’ve led five teams to victory. World Cup Flying Stars I’ve led three teams to win, and runner up’d twice. Super Spirit four… no wait… five times… and USCC invitational three times, runner up’d once. When I cheer, I cheer to win. You may think your routine is the gold standard, but listen here powder puff, I invented the gold standard in nineteen seventy four. I’m looking for diamond level now or I don’t even bother picking up my pom poms.”
Brittney crossed her hands over her chest and huffed as I looked at Norman with wide eyes, “The two thousand and eight USCC team?”
“Yep,” Norman replied as he glanced at his finger nails and smiled smugly.
“That routine was INSANE!” I exclaimed, “Where did you come up with it?”
“It was basically a toned down version of a night I spent with a rather acrobatic lover in a penthouse on top of a Vegas casino. Past that I won’t kiss and tell,” Norman replied and then leaned toward me, “Okay! I will tell! But you can’t…”
“Shut up!” Brittney screamed out, “None of this is helping!”
Everyone, including the three women who were rubbing our feet stopped and looked at Brittney, who turned her head away from us and looked out the front of the store. The three women then looked at each other and muttered a few things to each other in a language I didn’t know. Norman looked down at them and in an angry tone snapped back at them in the same language. All three women looked up at him with wide eyes and then quickly got back to rubbing our feet. Mrs. Chow, the woman who had greeted us stood up and started coming over but Norman held up one hand and waved her off.
“Well then Sassy Pants, what do you want to do?”
“I don’t know,” Brittney said as her voice cracked and I saw her hand come up and cover her face as she rubbed at her temples but I knew she was just trying to cover her watering eyes, “And I fucking hate not knowing. I’m supposed to have a plan. I’m supposed to be one step ahead of this happening. I always have been. ALWAYS. And then you and Kevin show up, and everything at school is fucked up, and my home life is fucked up, and now this happens and I’m fucking lost, okay! I’m fucking lost. I’m slipping and I hate it.”
Norman let out a sigh and reached out and took Brittney’s hand with his, “You’re not slipping Sassy Pants. You’re readjusting. You’ll get it all nailed down again. Plus you’ll also get to have great sex, too,” Norman reassured her and then frowned as he looked at her hand, “Oh my. Look at those cuticles. You should have been in here four days ago. Maybe a week.”
Brittney snatched her hand back and scowled at him, “I was busy! See! I’m slipping!”
Norman leaned back in his chair, “You, little miss, need to learn how to delegate. You think your father runs a business empire with his fingers in everything? No. He has people he trusts taking care of the things he can’t oversee. You need to do the same.”
“Yeah Britt, you can lean on me,” I said as I looked over at her.
“So what are you thinking here? Completely change the routine? Adjust it to our new number of girls? And then learn it in… what? Almost no time?” Brittney said, “Even if I have a dozen people under me, I don’t think it’s possible.”
“Pfft. Kevin and I can learn a new routine in a few moments,” Norman replied, “You just need a better routine.”
“Like it’s that easy to come up with! Keep talking fucking stupid and I will slap your face off Norman!”
“Oh! It’s the sass again! I love the sass!” Norman said excitedly as he turned to me, “She’s just so hot when she’s mad! I can’t get over it! It makes me want to just jump inside of her and find some young stud to work out the frustration on!”
“Try it and I will find out if you can stab slime with scissors,” Brittney growled at him in a menacing tone.
“He he he he he!” Norman giggled happily.
“Britt, we have someone who put together what… fifteen championship routines sitting right next to us! Why wouldn’t we let Norman help?”
“Sixteen, but who is counting, really,” Norman muttered as he rolled his eyes, “Not to mention runner up outcomes.”
“Let Norman change the routine? Are you fucking insane?”
“Kevin could do it too, if it would make you feel better,” Norman said as he waved his hands around in the air.
“Chess Club? Oh for fucks fucking sake,” Brittney muttered, “And that still doesn’t help us learn it, or solve the problem of the two missing girls.”
“Kevin and I could hop two girls. That’s the least of your problem,” Norman muttered, “You’re not looking at the big picture here. Your routine needs to change if you want to win anything. You’ve only got what, four tosses in it? Puh-lease.”
“Get off my dick or I will mushroom stamp your forehead right out of this salon Norman!” Brittney shot back as her fingers dug into the cushions on the arms of the chair.
“Wait… Brittney, that could work. Kevin and Norman could be the missing girls. They could hop anyone and make them into a cheerleader.”
“Well, not anyone. The bodies still need to have some physical aptitude, but I mean, yeah, you pick two reasonably in shape girls and Kevin and I could high kick and back flip better than ninety nine percent of the cheerleaders at any competition,” Norman muttered as he picked at his finger nails.
“And what do we do afterwards? When they wake up and they’re suddenly cheerleading stars?” Brittney questioned me, “Don’t you think that will be a little odd.”
“We’ll tell them about what’s going on. There are in shape girls that would kill to be on the team! This would get them there!” I said as I started putting a list of girls together in my head.
“What? I am not certain I am comfortable with this ever expanding circle of people in this town who have seen my liquid form,” Norman muttered, “It’s kind of a personal thing. I mean a few people, sure that’s kinky, but when everyone is all like, Oh that’s just Norman being a blob it takes away all the fun.”
“Yeah okay, that could work…”
“No way I am doing this unless I get complete artistic control and vision for the cheer routine I will be doing. I am not a follower. I am an eagle and I must soar to new heights. Others follow me,” Norman said as he put his nose in the air, “I will not dilute my cheering record with your quite frankly mediocre routine. If you want me to do this I will, but I am in it to win it.”
“Fuck you Norman! You little fucking bitch! I’ll…” Brittney rolled in her seat and then was suddenly sitting on Norman as one hand grabbed the loose collar of his shirt and her other hand pulled back to clock him in the nose.
Norman put up his arms as he squealed, “Not the face! I’m too pretty to be punched there!”
Suddenly Brittney stopped as she started to giggle, “Really? Not the face? You are such a fucking pansy.”
“I’m a lover not a fighter,” Norman shot back at her quickly, “Do you talk to your mother with that same mouth by the way? I’ve been wondering that for a while now.”
“My mother came from a softer generation,” Brittney replied as she calmed down and got back into her own seat, her masseuse again muttering something in a language I didn’t understand.
“You think your mother came from a softer generation? How many bras have you burned fighting for women’s rights? How many times have you gotten kicked out of school for voicing an opinion that’s different than what the men think? Do you have more career options than nurse, secretary, and homemaker? You better thank those softer generations Sassy Pants,” Norman said with a scowl.
“It wouldn’t have taken so fucking long if I would have been born sooner,” Brittney crossed her arms over her chest and glared back at Norman.
“Oh em gee, you’re probably right,” Norman said as he rolled his eyes at her, “I forgot who I was talking to.”
“Damn straight. Say my name,” Brittney declared and looked over at Norman like he had declared a challenge.
“I guess I can see a bit of Joan of Arc in you,” Norman said as he squinted at her, “She was killed by a bunch of men burning her alive, you know that right?”
“Bring on the torches,” Brittney lifted her chin, “I’ll take on anyone who wants to get in the ring with me.”
Norman turned to me and squealed with excitement, “Oh I like her! She’s got such sassy pants! I’m so excited to stay here for a bit and see how all of this turns out!”
“Amy, start talking to girls who might want to join the team, but need some help with their moves… We’ll talk to them all and see who might be open to having Norman inside them… That may be a sticky point…”
“Rude much?” Norman said as it was finally time for him to glare at Brittney, “I’ll have you know that most people love having me inside of them! Deep deep inside of them!”
“Ew,” I muttered as I raised an eyebrow at him, “Too sexual.”
He turned my way and shot me a grin, “Oh Kitten, you let me borrow your body for a night with Kevin and I will show you too sexual.”
My eyes went wide as I sucked in a breath and Brittney slapped the arm of her chair, “Pay attention bitches! Norman, do you have any ideas for our routine or is it all just used up recycled old shit that won in the past?”
“Oh you did not just insult my cheer routine creativity, did you? Those are fighting words Sassy Pants. You better check yourself, because you do not want an upset Norman coming for you. I may be more of a lover than a fighter, but if I fight a tenth as good as I make love I will fuck you up,” Norman said in a tone I hadn’t heard him use since the first time I had talked to him while he was in Brittney.
“Okay, my house tonight. I’ll have the white boards and markers ready. Bring videos and anything else you need. And pretzels. It’s tradition, don’t ask,” Brittney declared, “You and Kevin should be there too,” She looked at me, “And then tomorrow we’ll break the girls up into four person squads so the good ones can help the shitty ones. I’ll put the groups together.”
“Oh! Oh! I know just who to wear tonight! This is going to be so much fun! Salty carbs and three of us in tight athletic clothing ganging up on little Kevy? He won’t stand a chance! And we totz cereal need to have a pillow fight when it’s just us girls tonight, okay? Okay?”
“Fine Norman. Just bring the pretzels.”
“It’s a date!”
“It’s not a date.”
“It’s a date! Now what color are you having your nails painted? I am just in love with that fuchsia. And maybe little teddy bears painted on my middle fingers? What do you think Amy?”